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CranberryPerson
- Name: Jason
- Bio: Re: background image, yes I lost a bet.
ROMANCE TIP: This is the wrong weekend to tell your wife you can love her like a passionate teenage werewolf if you can't back it up.
9:56 AM Nov 22 by @CranberryPerson
Hey baby we are both up early and the kids are away WINK WINK we can make it to the outlet mall just as it is opening!
7:23 AM Nov 22 by @CranberryPerson
RIPOFF ALERT: K-Mart charges the same amount for a frame whether you want the picture of Jaclyn Smith or not.
9:04 AM Nov 21 by @CranberryPerson
There is this anti-bullying movement at my kid's school which is great but seems kind of discriminatory against born assholes.
8:01 PM Nov 20 by @CranberryPerson
Son, I considered being on time for your first grade Thanksgiving play, but then what would you have written sad poems about in 10 years?
4:15 PM Nov 20 by @CranberryPerson
My parents were at the house so I couldn't go running, but my dad would still think I am fat anyway so who even cares.
7:32 AM Nov 20 by @CranberryPerson
Heard someone say an iphone is twice as cool as a Blackberry, so that's why I carry two.
2:53 PM Nov 19 by @CranberryPerson
Sometimes in the windows here I'll catch a reflection of my profile without sucking in my gut and isn't there something in OSHA about that?
10:33 AM Nov 19 by @CranberryPerson
People at the new job are surprised at how much gray hair I have. Thanks, L'Oreal "Distinguished Gentleman #7" home hair dye kit!
11:20 AM Nov 18 by @CranberryPerson
Was going to run a marathon today but instead, I am at the Pitt-Notre Dame game and I am drunk. SAME DIFFERENCE.
6:52 PM Nov 14 by @CranberryPerson
"You must not have had anything to make for breakfast. And YOU must have a football game but lost your mouthpiece." CSI: WalMart Cashier.
5:40 AM Nov 14 by @CranberryPerson
Every ending is also a beginning. It's the last day at my old job, but the first day my three year old wore boxer briefs.
6:33 AM Nov 13 by @CranberryPerson
My new building is going to be a block away but I am getting really nervous that its Starbucks won't be as good as the Starbucks here.
11:28 AM Nov 12 by @CranberryPerson
We had a half hour home alone before parent-teacher conferences started WINK WINK just enough time to finish watching House on DVR.
9:36 AM Nov 12 by @CranberryPerson
Oh dammit I just remembered I only have two more days to exact my terrible revenge on everyone here who didn't hold the elevator for me.
7:59 AM Nov 12 by @CranberryPerson
@Aimee_B_Loved Whoa, maybe that is why Agassi chose a wig that looked so much like Tina Turner's hair.
7:57 AM Nov 11 by @CranberryPerson
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