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GodAwfulBastard
- Name: GodAwfulBastard
- Web: http://itsjusttwitter.com
- Bio: I drop money hits. You drop runny shits.
Look, I found your mother to be many things, but I would not characterize any of them as "drunk" or "abusive".
1:27 PM Nov 20 by @GodAwfulBastard
When I see a guy alone in his car jamming hard to Nickleback, I assume he's working up the courage to go home and ask for anal.
3:44 PM Nov 19 by @GodAwfulBastard
I bet the little discouraging talk running coaches have to give to white kids who want to be sprinters is really funny and awkward.
10:07 AM Nov 16 by @GodAwfulBastard
I would start a @ShitThatsOnlyFunnyIfISayMyDadSaidIt account, but there's already such a strong leader in that sector.
10:03 AM Nov 12 by @GodAwfulBastard
If dogs can't scream "I'd rather be dead than feel this", the makers of these expired mexican contact lenses are in a heap of legal trouble.
9:46 AM Nov 12 by @GodAwfulBastard
At some point, we all became more accepting of the Irish than I'm comfortable with.
7:37 AM Nov 12 by @GodAwfulBastard
Wayne and Kanye on the same track? That's the greatest thing that's ever happened, just ask them.
7:31 PM Nov 11 by @GodAwfulBastard
With its nationwide embrace of the self checkout, Walmart may have single-handedly eliminated the North American yeast infection.
9:22 PM Nov 9 by @GodAwfulBastard
The old lady went and got herself knocked up. I guess I'll go see if my dad ever found that carton of smokes he went out for years ago.
7:46 PM Nov 9 by @GodAwfulBastard
Drinking before 10 AM isn't immoral, most men just don't possess the constitution for it.
9:38 AM Nov 7 by @GodAwfulBastard
Step 1) hang out by the twilight stack at Borders Step 2) look brooding
10:11 PM Nov 6 by @GodAwfulBastard
I wish we gave STD's cute names. I'd much rather be calling down this list telling women they might have been exposed to the bunny bumps.
11:23 AM Nov 6 by @GodAwfulBastard
Sure, I got around a little bit before I got married, but I saved the best for probable last.
9:28 AM Nov 5 by @GodAwfulBastard
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