Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

can't think of that special gift to get your spouse? Wonder no more! http://bit.ly/5bdDUo You can thank me later.

11:19 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Lincoln Logs are good for one thing - finally allowing Barbie and Ken to realize their log cabin fetish.

10:24 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@slag_mag did the same thing with mine until she started singing the Jamie Foxx song. She was cheating!

10:23 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@radiocolin they had such potential too. If I were advising, I would tell them to play off "lol" and create a new identity. They need it.

9:52 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@Caissie my frazzly haired Cathy tattoo begs to differ! (if I could draw I would ball point pen that sucker on my leg to finish the joke)

9:49 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@Caissie @knitterplease No one really wants my identity. Did you see I just made a Minus Man reference?

9:37 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@Caissie It would be like the Minus Man - only probably less boring. Why yes, I just made an Owen Wilson as a serial killer reference.

9:36 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@knitterplease my hair! my shoes! I'm fat! I just wrote a Cathy comic.

9:34 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Twitter on Monday mornings: Like a Cathy comic, only funny.

8:24 AM Nov 23 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

What does it say about the other Jacksons when Jermaine is the one speaking for them? #AMAs

9:16 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@trixieboots I don't want to live in a world where there's such a thing as "too much pork belly."

8:34 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Did Rihanna go to her hair stylist and ask for the Kate Goselin?

8:18 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Jermaine Jackson's kids: JerFar, JerMagesty and Jeremy. Seems like Jeremy won the name lottery there.

8:08 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

trying to figure out which Black Eyed Peas is most dressed like a hooker. It's not easy...

8:05 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

did Black Eyed Peas A just thorw Dee-Lite sample in there?

8:04 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

And we go from Jay-Z dressed-to-the-9s to Slater's 5 & 10 ensemble.

7:51 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Love that Kelly Clarkson playing with a string quartet, and a personal DJ on the 1s and 2s. it's the AMAs; it doesn't have to make sense.

7:37 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Did they just suggest Fall Out Boy has a greatest hits album? How long have I been asleep? Can I buy a flying car yet?

7:17 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

@WadetoBlack nah, they were just nominated for something. I'm not sure they're even in the building.

7:12 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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Chris O'Neill - I once killed a snake that was like 2 feet long!

Wait - Andy Warhol fronts Nickelback now? #AMAs

7:10 PM Nov 22 by @Goose

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