cleversimon

Simon Crowley
Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@toldorknown That's nothing compared to the frisson I get when you use the word "frisson." Rawr.

12:15 PM Nov 23 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

For the record, Marylin Manson (the band) is not firing Marylin Manson (the singer), and I am not BFFs with the ghost of Ernest Hemingway.

11:19 AM Nov 23 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

It's Monday morning, so I must be on Wikipedia fact-checking my dreams from last night.

11:14 AM Nov 23 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Keep shoving that free newspaper at me and you're going to get a face full of soy mocha, motherfucker.

9:40 AM Nov 23 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

We're choosing the font for our save-the-date cards: "Garamond is really the best font if you want to be, like, taken seriously."

11:17 PM Nov 22 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Wait a minute, we have to PLAN this wedding? I thought we'd just show up, trade rings, get drunk, and then have relatively-less-sinful sex.

12:22 PM Nov 22 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Bright and sunny, clear blue skies—and snow. At least Mother Nature smiles when she kicks us in the balls.

1:01 PM Nov 21 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Department Christmas party tonight. Our VP is giving a speech I wrote. The question is not whether I pre-game for this. It's how hard.

5:53 PM Nov 20 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

All I want for Christmas is the ability to ignore assholes instead of engaging with them. And a new TV. But mostly the other thing.

12:19 PM Nov 20 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Do you suppose they’ll make a 64 GB iPod nano? There’s not much “nano” about the capacity of the first five computers I owned combined.

9:45 AM Nov 20 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Up late drinking with my good friend John Rebus. I'm pouring the Scotch for both of us, lazy bastard.

1:08 AM Nov 20 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@iamwearingpants I know! http://flic.kr/p/o3WqR

8:53 PM Nov 5 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@iamwearingpants I hope you die.

10:24 AM Nov 5 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@indefensible Quit biting my rhymes.

11:14 PM Nov 4 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@iamwearingpants I hate you.

9:38 PM Nov 4 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

The South could have saved itself a lot of trouble in the '60s if it had just put those pesky "rights for black people" to a vote.

11:05 AM Nov 4 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Controversially, Freud refused to commit to an interpretation of dreams about setting up wireless routers.

8:09 AM Nov 4 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@gruber Are there many things you *wouldn't* feel better about if you had a Porsche?

6:02 PM Nov 3 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

@yowhatsthehaps Trois Pistoles (http://bit.ly/3XC9oK ). Invariably makes for a great night and a rough morning.

11:00 AM Nov 3 by @cleversimon

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Simon Crowley - Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history? Or do you want it like a murder mystery?

Fucking Québécois beer. I think I'm still drunk. Scratch that: I *wish* I was still drunk.

9:28 AM Nov 3 by @cleversimon

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