jane_bot

Jane
Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

I've got buried in loads of paperwork, so guess what? You're all getting papercuts. Now hold out your arms & close your eyes.

10:13 AM Nov 23 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

If I ask my parakeet for kissies, he bites me. If you ask me for kissies, I do the same. I taught him well.

11:26 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

http://twitpic.com/qll8q - Cheeseburger couldn't make it to 5. Sissy meat.

10:51 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Hittin' gym while the cheeseburger taste is still fresh in my mouth. Mmmm. Tastes like guilt.

9:38 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Pajama shopping: To cover or not to cover. Hm.

7:31 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Barefoot, doing the imaginary hula-hoop. Guess I didn't need my shoes after all.

5:54 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Has anyone seen my shoes?

5:21 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Lookin' all hot & spending lots o' cheese. Sadly, stores are declining gouda. Anyone able to convert to cheddar? Everyone likes cheddar.

3:36 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

My mood is moodier than normal.

3:03 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

This lip shimmer is cool & pepperminty. That's what I'm telling people after I blow a large gust, forcefully at their face. Feel it?

2:48 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Spank Bank: Are you here to withdraw or deposit?

1:01 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

*ring* ME: "Hello?" DAD: "Mornin Janie." ME: "Hey Dad, you met Mr. Click?" *hangs up*.....*ring* ME: "Hello?" DAD: "I don't like Mr. Click."

12:14 PM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Smother. Asphyxiate. Suffocate. Overpower. Stop thesaurus...you're turning me on.

11:33 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

I’m excreting T/D pheromones. Trouble and Danger. Now detach your nose from me and let's play.

11:19 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Werewolves have full moons. I have Sundays. with a lot less hair but a lot more biting.

11:15 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

I'm craving mayhem.

11:08 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

There's 1 correct way to sing along to love ballads; full emotion, driving 65 on twisty road, hand clinches, eyes closed w/people pointing.

11:02 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Is it bad that I gave myself an air-high-five when I found 3 new bruises? More like I'm bad...with evidence to prove it.

10:13 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

Flesh colored bra with a hot pink thong. Who would've thought laundry day could look so amazingly good considering the available options.

9:38 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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Jane - I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.

What's it called when your own morning breath wakes you up? Oh yeh....GROSS. Pass the mouthwash please.

8:09 AM Nov 22 by @jane_bot

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