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jordanrubin
- Name: Jordan Rubin
- Location: New York, NY
- Web: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1140290
- Bio: chill. i got this
After every sexual innuendo, someone goes "That's what she said." I'm starting to think that this woman is a real whore.
10:45 AM Nov 23 by @jordanrubin
Please stop tweeting about your holiday airport delays. Nobody cares. (getting an early start on tweets this week)
10:18 AM Nov 23 by @jordanrubin
My friend John Dvi-Vardhana's new Star Wars/Scarface mash up. Amazing: http://tiny.cc/ScarWars
7:50 AM Nov 23 by @jordanrubin
I'm writing a book about a male contortionist who has the ability to blow himself, but doesn't like giving oral.
10:52 PM Nov 22 by @jordanrubin
Nerd goal: Is anyone on an airborne plane, with WIFI and iChat during next 4.5 hrs? Want to try plane-to-plane video chat.
9:04 AM Nov 22 by @jordanrubin
Hey cat: You've got 9 lives. Skydive. Have sex without a condom. At least leave the house once in awhile.
9:50 AM Nov 21 by @jordanrubin
You guys. We should really do something for @iamdiddy's 40th birthday. I'm thinking something small, intimate.
9:13 AM Nov 21 by @jordanrubin
Why was Lincoln's assassination such a big deal? Even if he hadn't been murdered, he'd still be dead by now.
3:30 AM Nov 21 by @jordanrubin
My painting style? Abstract Regressionism. I start by dripping paint onto a canvas on the floor & end by pooping my diaper.
2:48 AM Nov 21 by @jordanrubin
Hired an old British man to trail me and narrate my life. "Downing a 6th tequila shot, he'll shortly drunk-dial his ex."
9:48 PM Nov 20 by @jordanrubin
OMG! OMG! Apparently if you crack R-Pattz open, he's filled with cotton candy.
12:42 AM Nov 20 by @jordanrubin
Just found out that in England they refer to cigarettes as "Homosexuals."
12:29 PM Nov 19 by @jordanrubin
Whenever they slide a Vietnamese menu under my door, I pray that it's a letter from the child I Ieft behind in 'Nam.
12:16 PM Nov 19 by @jordanrubin
How many days should you wait to call after a date rape? #HowDareMeJokeAboutSuchThings
12:31 AM Nov 18 by @jordanrubin
Do I have a sign on my back that reads "Stay home hungover and masturbate all day?" Seriously, who do I think I am?
10:16 AM Nov 17 by @jordanrubin
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