fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

I'm just going to stay inside today and finish canning these pickled beets.

12:02 PM Nov 22 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

I think this remake of Sense and Sensibility is shaping up quite nice: http://www.heyokay.com/images/8%20seconds.jpg

3:52 PM Nov 21 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

Intern, prepare my moon-ice bath. That Jazzercize sesh really tore the hell out of my shins.

6:27 PM Nov 19 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

I make all my own pants. Nothing but fabric, needle, thread, hard work, and plastic explosive.

10:30 PM Nov 18 by @michael_bay

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Do they make a bigger Brita Filter? Because this is taking forevery to fill up my hot tub.

11:17 AM Nov 17 by @michael_bay

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No, I'm serious. I can actually sweat myself clean.

6:28 PM Nov 14 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

My pet eagle just flew away. Let me know if you see him. White head, black body. Intense eyes. Eats poodles. Thanks.

6:30 PM Nov 13 by @michael_bay

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Get Japan on the phone-- this translation is off: http://bit.ly/40F8KT

11:55 PM Nov 8 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

No Lou Diamond Phillips, I CLEARLY won that round of Capoeira.

4:17 PM Nov 7 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

So what if I sing the Baywatch them song at Karaoke?

8:05 PM Nov 6 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

I hereby promise to name my unborn children Nitro and Glycerin.

10:24 PM Nov 5 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

Diamond studded license plate cover = totally worth it.

4:11 PM Nov 4 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Tried slutty Thanksgiving with the family last year but it just wasn't the same

2:41 PM Oct 31 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

@zomgcupcakes I have a whole closet of unitards if you just want to borrow one.

10:06 PM Oct 29 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

I gave my interns the day off: http://bit.ly/C8974

11:16 PM Oct 28 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

Having trouble remembering-- Is the rule of thumb to just budget half as much dynamite for a documentary?

3:02 PM Oct 27 by @michael_bay

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Kid, I like your style. Have your agent call me. RT @thesolster: 12seconds - Boom! http://tiny12.tv/W2W7J

5:16 PM Oct 24 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

In talks with Lego about my own line. The set would be called "Just Little Smoldering Bits of Plastic Land."

12:07 PM Oct 23 by @michael_bay

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Give me my Hummer back. NOW. http://bit.ly/gi4HR

7:22 PM Oct 22 by @michael_bay

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fake michael_bay - Better than you. (Not affiliated with the real michael bay)

No, you can't ride shotgun. That's reserved for my A-Game. I take it EVERYWHERE.

6:07 PM Oct 22 by @michael_bay

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