mycorpse

MyCorpse
MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@benredux none of these bitches appreciate it, except you, which is why you rule.

8:13 PM Nov 21 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@laniebarrett the canvas adds 10 pounds.

2:42 PM Nov 21 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

I love these little redneck mountain towns, full of cornholes, buying up carmel popcorn and wooden beaver statues.

2:24 PM Nov 21 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

If I could see Russia from my house, I'd be all, "Gimme all your vodka bitches!!"

1:59 PM Nov 21 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

Romance is alive and well. Hubby complimented my sunglasses, "They make you look like a nice person."

1:16 PM Nov 21 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@GourmetLawyer I said a good one.

9:58 PM Nov 20 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@GourmetLawyer sounds fishy. I'd get a lawyer if I were you. Do you know a good one?

9:47 PM Nov 20 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@GourmetLawyer do you do it for him?

9:36 PM Nov 20 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@BlackAddler that's not what I heard is the first thing you do in the morning

9:31 PM Nov 20 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

I'm about to embark on a 48 hour vacation with only my husband. That's a long time to try to search for something we have in common.

9:00 PM Nov 20 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

I'm trying to be there for some friends who are going through a rough patch, but am alarmed when I'm the one offering mental health advice.

8:46 PM Nov 19 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@hedrickjeff I'd rather have a blower than a biter.

10:21 PM Nov 18 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@hedrickjeff I hate haters. They suck.

6:12 PM Nov 18 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

I'm excited we rented an anus to sleep the 5 of us for a family ski weekend. They call it a *studio* because it has an elevator and parking.

5:25 PM Nov 18 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@hedrickjeff I don't know anything about baseball, but I do know that everyone hates a Yankees fan.

3:46 PM Nov 18 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

No. 1 is the favorite; No. 3 is the spaz; No. 2 is clearly going to kill us all in our sleep some day.

11:53 AM Nov 18 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

Some of my favorite people are poor and unshaven.

8:46 AM Nov 18 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

@hedrickjeff I have all my technology stuck on Luddite.

8:07 PM Nov 17 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

Screw you, iPhone, that relentlessly chimes and changes every few seconds during any playlist. Die in an upgrade.

11:53 AM Nov 17 by @mycorpse

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MyCorpse - Yes, like your mother, I am a twat.

We all make sacrafices for our children. Mine is a healthy liver.

3:33 PM Nov 16 by @mycorpse

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